What does a scanner see..??

I am not a depressive/depressed/ready to kill myself/junkie/alcoholic..... but I really liked this quote from "A Scanner Darkly"
"What does a scanner see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into myself. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the scanners do better. Because if the scanner sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up dead this way, knowing very little, and getting that little fragment wrong too."

I am actually going to make a list of my favorite movie and book quotes and put the most unoriginal, 100% plagiarized blog entry ever ... soon.. Atleast it will be good reading.

Going straight to hell

I was watching A scanner darkly and there is this one scene where this guy is hallucinating an alien reading out all his sins. I took some time out today to recount my sins, while I was taking a super long Sunday morning shower.

It was crazy, I had all this water which was just pouring over my back and into the drain. There are people in the world who have to walk miles to get a bucket of water to share with a family of 23. I don't know if it's my fault that they have to walk that far or that they have massively unmanageable families and I am not sure if I stayed dirty and didn't shower for a week, would they actually get water on a tap in their shanty hut? But anyway it made me feel guilty and I thought that's a sin which I will go straight to hell for.

But hang on a second, what about the half eaten pizza that I threw away, I know people in my country are dying of hunger, damn, so could I have/should I have shipped my half eaten pizza to Bhikhu...somewhere..but he doesn't have food to eat, which would mean no house to live in.. where the hell do I ship the pizza to? I think I am going to hell for that too.

It would be good to do an inventory of all the things that potentially fall into a list of sins, list of things that are not approved by a holier being, list of things that people around you think are not right (those holier than thou a**holes we tend to know and laugh about) <- oops that's unacceptable behaviour too... Damn, I am going to hell...

And I need to stop thinking about my French teacher in the shower....

My Professional Career

I think I have been in some sort of a job since 2000. I tried to recount all the work that I have done, documents made, presentations created, reports submitted, project plans drafted, emails received-sent.

I believe if I took all of it.. just professional stuff that I have done at my various jobs. I could fit it into a 60 GB hard drive.

Think about it, 6 yrs of work... it all fits into a 60 GB drive.

I think I need to start a restaurant...I am sure I'll need some massive storage space and deep freezers... at least my work will occupy more space...

This arrived...

...in the mail today.....

Experiment....

Don't worry you can try this at home as a matter of fact you SHOULD try it at home. Take 5, 1 meter long wires lay them out straight at abt 5 cm distance from each other on a flat floor or a table.

Do nothing now. Leave them there for a month.

At the end of a month they should have worked themselves into a nice bunch of intertwined wires which should take you about 30 minutes to get apart and also may make you want to bang your head against a wall repeatedly.

Listen to a good song here, appropriately titled "Wires"

Last Song...

I was trying to drown the frustration today after my hair dresser had successfully clipped .7cm of my hair and charged me 2 weeks of grocery allowance for it by tuning into something that would make me forget everything that I was thinking of, something that would make everything around me disappear, something that would make me invisible to the world, this was also because he had waxed my hair to make me look like I was lining up to make love to Elton John.

At that instant my iPod played "Subterranean Homesick Alien" and I've never turned the volume up as high as I did today... and I let it play LOUD.. and I could feel everything around me disappear... I had a feeling that I was soaring... looking down at things and being able to smirk at it... it has probably been the most uplifting moment of my day.. maybe the week as well.

So taking of on my series of, "Last...".... what would be the last song that you would want to listen to before you move onto another world.... or let's not get that morose, let's make it more bearable.. the last song before you go deaf... OK.. It's your choice if you want to die or live as a deaf person..

While you're mulling over the songs... I'm listing a few of my "Last Songs"
Nice Dream
Time
Cry Freedom
and of course i'd re recommend "Subterranean Homesick Alien"

Oh and if you had to choose between living deaf or dying, what would you pick?

As you can see, I am quite pissed off about losing that ticker on my blog.

How technology fucked me over....

I used to have a ticker on my blog... Last time I logged in there were about 988 hits.. of course 837 of them were from me, but yet, I was looking forward to the 1000 hits milestone.. I was going to put up a blog - "You are the 1000th person to visit this blog, click here to win a free gift" or something like that.. I was gonna pour myself a single malt and light up a cigar to celebrate...

Last night, I was fooling around on blogger and it asked me if I wanted to pick a template for my blog and I repicked the same template that I have always had... et voila.. my ticker has disappeared!!!

So that's how technology fucked me.... and oh ya... it also gave me free porn!!!

Man's Man...

I heard this term a few years ago and they related it to John Wayne or the Marlboro Man... being the Man's man... I am taking a shot at listing some individuals who I think qualify. I know I will automatically qualify into the borderline category of not being sure of my sexual orientation...

OK....

and more...

That last post was me trying to inject some variety in my textual blog.. and it was also a feeble attempt at being artistically inclined...

I could've taken better pics, but my camera is a bit prehistoric and you already seen my savings account!!!

I realized, the only reason I wake up each morning and go to work is because I like to dress up, but I hate ironing my shirts...

I felt the fear of turning 30 recently...

Another movie for the 20 somethings grappling with growing up....The Last Kiss or L'Ultimo Bacio

Ma vie...

What I often swap my bed for....

My Saving's Account

Last night on earth

Imagine it's your last night on earth. Who would you spend that night with?? The world has all the people that you have pined for, fantasized about, loved, cared for, secretly admired, touched yourself while thinking about them.... Who would you want to spend that last night in bed with?

If you are a man, who likes women, put in the name of a woman, if you are a man who likes men, put in the name of a man. If you are a woman with a liking for men, put in the name of a man and if you're a woman who likes women, put in the name of the woman (and the name of the man who can watch the two of you).

And ya, if you've made the effort and visited the blog, don't be lazy, leave a response. It's only the people who make themselves heard, who get what they ask for.

Hope...

I was talking to a good friend today, talking about the ol' times, I went, "Dude, I am pretty sure that girl had the hots for me back then". He asked,"Why did she tell you that?", I said, "No, but come on, back in the days, I was the dude, I am sure she had the hots for me", he replied "Dude, that's what women do, they give you hope!! That's what they're good at!!!" - Somehow, I think truer words have not been spoken.

But that brings me to a conversation I had with a lady friend last weekend after a few drinks, I said, "So what do you think, that girl out there, should I get her a drink?", she replied, "I would never agree to let a guy buy me a drink". I told her,"That's wrong, because what you are doing is killing the guy's hopes, and us men live on hope"

Ok maybe I went too far with that generalization....

Anyway, end game, the girl I wanted to buy the drink for, rejected my offer, while my lady friend got 4 drinks from men that night and she gave her phone no. to one of them!!!

Bad day at work...

Today was a bad day at work....as you can see -->

What If...

.. you had all the money in the world.. like if you won millions of dollars in a lottery, or a grand uncle who you never knew, left you an estate worth 32 krillion pounds...or something to that effect... What would you do with your life? I am not asking with the money!! but with your life!!!What would you want to do each morning when you wake up?
Write a book?
Start a band?
Start a charity?
Buy an island?
OR
Act like nothing happened and go to your day job and make sure that you screw up every deadline and make sure your boss gets no bonus or even worse gets fired in the bargain?
Leave me a note with the craziest things you could/would do...

I wanna be...

like the music i listen to.....

Spam!

People around the world gets spam like "EEENlarge!!".. "Meet me round the corner for a s*ck and F*ck".."h$rneee 2nite???" "click h$r3 for 9 inches"... now I don't mind that.. but along with my rotten luck mentioned in the previous post.. i've run out of luck with my spam folder too....

I don't receive spam in my junk folder anymore. I get it direct in my inbox, I also get junk mail in my mailbox at home regularly, not signalling great sales or deals at the local thrift store... and it really rattles me to go through it..

The other day I received Junk mail at home, a thick fat envelope in nice caligraphy... and I was like "Wow, somebody seems to have invited me for some lavish affair".... It was a bunch of greeting cards created by "Artists who paint with their mouth or feet" with a sweet note saying, "These are for free, to promote the artists, but there is an empty invoice, you may fill in whatever amount you feel their artwork deserves and send it to......" - tugging with a big bulldozer at my pea sized conscience...

That's not the only junk I receive by the way.. very often it has to do with things like dolphins and seals and cute animals getting slaughtered and 3917 different species getting wiped out and how my 2 cents would change their lives...

I need to sign up for an enlargement!!!! (of my conscience!!! what did you think??)

Disoriented orientation

Last week, people of a different sexual orientation than mine were made to think, by some friends of mine that I have the same sexual orientation as theirs and they have made more than their fair share of attempts to figure out if it is true or not.
In the same week I offered to buy a person a drink, who people of my sexual orientation usually would take a fancy to.. I was told that I was very kind, followed up by,"I am actually here looking for people of a different sexual orientation than yours!!!!" This after I had already forked out a little more than the budget deficit of a small island to buy that gin & tonic for this individual in focus!!!

I think, I need a stiff one ( a drink, I mean)......

Blow Out

The title came from the radiohead track I was listening to while starting this post. Goes to show how little I am ready to exercise my brain these days. Some random thoughts will follow

I see so many TV Ads/movies - where the protagonist gets onto a flight to find the most spanking women on the planet take the seat next to him, in someway or the other these two people end up doing crazy things like saving lives (while having sex) or exchange sparkling pearly white smiles (while falling in love over 1 smart line in 30 seconds flat). I have done a fair amount of taking planes, trains and other modes of transport where even normal looking people could get a seat next to me, but no it usually tends to be men with a waist size in the 40s and a corresponding age with a bladder problem or else women travelling with a minimum of 2 grand kids with weak stomachs. Waiting for my luck to change

I often see people crying on the street or in subways and I wonder, what it must be that is making that person cry - Physical pain, emotional pain, loss, heartbreak and then I asked myself, what would make me cry in public all alone?? I don't think I've reached an answer. What would you cry for in public all alone?

I saw a few good movies recently- Science of sleep - Gondry's back crazier than before, why do I like it, it's the way he has worked to blend the subconscious state of mind of "Stephane" with his conscious state of mind, the nature of free wheeling dialogue of a shy human being who is tongue tied around the woman he likes.
The other one I really liked was Paris Je t'aime. Why? I don't know why, go to paris and figure out why the world says Paris je t'aime...
I wonder if I am just biased towards the French??

I just get this feeling that I've had about enough powerpoint and excel for a lifetime.

A peculiar smell

A few weeks ago, a truck full of metallic materials stopped close to me. I got a huge whiff of that steely metallic smell and somehow all that came to my mind was honesty, hardwork, resolve.. in just a split second....

My dad ran a small manufacturing unit which used a lot of steel and he was a very hands on man... it is astonishing how the brain connects things

Stolen not stirred!

Have you experienced the loss of a loved one.. an end to a relationship, a death of someone really close to you? You wake up the next morning and you have that feeling where you have lost everything. You have split seconds where you think-“Oh I’ll do this with this” or “I need to say this”, or just a thought about them and then you realize, “Oh they’re not there any longer”. I’ve been having that feeling since last weekend…

Now why am I getting all morbid again??? Becaus....
....I am hearing:
-Traffic on the streets,
-F*ck wits on the bus to work talking loud enough so that the anyone inclined to read a book or newspaper cannot go about his daily routine,
-Piped music in elevators and metro stops,
-People call out to me on the streets and I can’t pretend I didn’t hear them, so I have to respond. I have to make conversation again.

No more Radiohead and Pink Floyd laced highs. The odd unknown tune will not come up from nowhere to lift me higher

Some useless mucker futhing son of a bitch stole my iPod ….all 30GB of it.. in all it’s shining non scratched black glory!!! I am shattered beyond words!!

Thief!! thou shalt rot in MP3 Hell… may the Britneys, the Aguileras and the Ricky Martins descend upon you every night. Your wet dreams for the rest of your life will have Celine Dion breast feeding you to the tune of “My heart will go on”…