As much as you wish

I have no problems in being cheated. As a matter of fact I call all my weekend breaks or vacations to any touristy place as my "Let's get cheated breaks". I like some places where the taxi driver or the tourist guide offers you his services at a price which is about 5-8 times the price a local would pay for it. (Actually a local would never avail of their services in their own country)

But, the words I cringe at the most though are "As much as you wish" - The conversation would go something like this:

Me: How much for this service/product (read: 730 Mts taxi drive, run of the mill tour of a site where all the explanations are in a language that is extinct or will be very soon, thus making it uncomprehensible to all visitors)

Provider: For you sir a special price, normally it would "75" but for you it is only "72.5" and if you like you can tip "As much as you wish"

This is when I stop enjoying the trip immediately, because I am under the spotlight and I also have to start thinking of an appropriate price to pay for being appreciative of a service that I am already paying 800% more for and somehow avoid at being abused at after receiving it.

In such a situation my roots betray me completely too. It is ingrained in us to haggle/bargain/drive down a price/short change people. I am sorry we are born that way!!

So I think and I think and weigh the pros and cons of the service and grade it on a scale of 1-5 where 1 is low and 5 is great and all that jazz. I even try and do a bit of math as my race is supposed to be good in that subject and try and count what a 10-15% tip would be like and finally I fork out enough money that I think would make the receiver feel elated with joy and make him decide to not work for the next 36 weeks and take his wife and kids and 2 little ponies on that promised vacation....(Note this is all happening, while I am supposed to be getting a whirlwind tour of a major historical monument and thus not allowing me to take any note of what is going on)

But alas, it's not to be... All I get is a stern look, the eyes suddenly going from friendly "I am gonna fuck you so royally" look to "You Mo Fo, I think you just tried to have sex with my 2 ponies". Then suddenly the emotion from the eyes pour into his mouth and turn into words and they come spewing out "Cheat!!Cheapskate!! Beggar!! You have wasted my whole life!! (note:I met this person 6.18 Mins a go). Please leave immediately or the anger that is boiling inside me will ask all the gods in the world to make sure that you have anal warts and you need to sit on a pole to earn your living"

I am telling you it's a no-win situation. Try it.

Sometimes those ladies in Amsterdam are sure a welcome change with their "50 Eur for a Suck and a Fuck!!"