Bad day at work...

Today was a bad day at work....as you can see -->

What If...

.. you had all the money in the world.. like if you won millions of dollars in a lottery, or a grand uncle who you never knew, left you an estate worth 32 krillion pounds...or something to that effect... What would you do with your life? I am not asking with the money!! but with your life!!!What would you want to do each morning when you wake up?
Write a book?
Start a band?
Start a charity?
Buy an island?
OR
Act like nothing happened and go to your day job and make sure that you screw up every deadline and make sure your boss gets no bonus or even worse gets fired in the bargain?
Leave me a note with the craziest things you could/would do...

I wanna be...

like the music i listen to.....

Spam!

People around the world gets spam like "EEENlarge!!".. "Meet me round the corner for a s*ck and F*ck".."h$rneee 2nite???" "click h$r3 for 9 inches"... now I don't mind that.. but along with my rotten luck mentioned in the previous post.. i've run out of luck with my spam folder too....

I don't receive spam in my junk folder anymore. I get it direct in my inbox, I also get junk mail in my mailbox at home regularly, not signalling great sales or deals at the local thrift store... and it really rattles me to go through it..

The other day I received Junk mail at home, a thick fat envelope in nice caligraphy... and I was like "Wow, somebody seems to have invited me for some lavish affair".... It was a bunch of greeting cards created by "Artists who paint with their mouth or feet" with a sweet note saying, "These are for free, to promote the artists, but there is an empty invoice, you may fill in whatever amount you feel their artwork deserves and send it to......" - tugging with a big bulldozer at my pea sized conscience...

That's not the only junk I receive by the way.. very often it has to do with things like dolphins and seals and cute animals getting slaughtered and 3917 different species getting wiped out and how my 2 cents would change their lives...

I need to sign up for an enlargement!!!! (of my conscience!!! what did you think??)

Disoriented orientation

Last week, people of a different sexual orientation than mine were made to think, by some friends of mine that I have the same sexual orientation as theirs and they have made more than their fair share of attempts to figure out if it is true or not.
In the same week I offered to buy a person a drink, who people of my sexual orientation usually would take a fancy to.. I was told that I was very kind, followed up by,"I am actually here looking for people of a different sexual orientation than yours!!!!" This after I had already forked out a little more than the budget deficit of a small island to buy that gin & tonic for this individual in focus!!!

I think, I need a stiff one ( a drink, I mean)......

Blow Out

The title came from the radiohead track I was listening to while starting this post. Goes to show how little I am ready to exercise my brain these days. Some random thoughts will follow

I see so many TV Ads/movies - where the protagonist gets onto a flight to find the most spanking women on the planet take the seat next to him, in someway or the other these two people end up doing crazy things like saving lives (while having sex) or exchange sparkling pearly white smiles (while falling in love over 1 smart line in 30 seconds flat). I have done a fair amount of taking planes, trains and other modes of transport where even normal looking people could get a seat next to me, but no it usually tends to be men with a waist size in the 40s and a corresponding age with a bladder problem or else women travelling with a minimum of 2 grand kids with weak stomachs. Waiting for my luck to change

I often see people crying on the street or in subways and I wonder, what it must be that is making that person cry - Physical pain, emotional pain, loss, heartbreak and then I asked myself, what would make me cry in public all alone?? I don't think I've reached an answer. What would you cry for in public all alone?

I saw a few good movies recently- Science of sleep - Gondry's back crazier than before, why do I like it, it's the way he has worked to blend the subconscious state of mind of "Stephane" with his conscious state of mind, the nature of free wheeling dialogue of a shy human being who is tongue tied around the woman he likes.
The other one I really liked was Paris Je t'aime. Why? I don't know why, go to paris and figure out why the world says Paris je t'aime...
I wonder if I am just biased towards the French??

I just get this feeling that I've had about enough powerpoint and excel for a lifetime.

A peculiar smell

A few weeks ago, a truck full of metallic materials stopped close to me. I got a huge whiff of that steely metallic smell and somehow all that came to my mind was honesty, hardwork, resolve.. in just a split second....

My dad ran a small manufacturing unit which used a lot of steel and he was a very hands on man... it is astonishing how the brain connects things

Stolen not stirred!

Have you experienced the loss of a loved one.. an end to a relationship, a death of someone really close to you? You wake up the next morning and you have that feeling where you have lost everything. You have split seconds where you think-“Oh I’ll do this with this” or “I need to say this”, or just a thought about them and then you realize, “Oh they’re not there any longer”. I’ve been having that feeling since last weekend…

Now why am I getting all morbid again??? Becaus....
....I am hearing:
-Traffic on the streets,
-F*ck wits on the bus to work talking loud enough so that the anyone inclined to read a book or newspaper cannot go about his daily routine,
-Piped music in elevators and metro stops,
-People call out to me on the streets and I can’t pretend I didn’t hear them, so I have to respond. I have to make conversation again.

No more Radiohead and Pink Floyd laced highs. The odd unknown tune will not come up from nowhere to lift me higher

Some useless mucker futhing son of a bitch stole my iPod ….all 30GB of it.. in all it’s shining non scratched black glory!!! I am shattered beyond words!!

Thief!! thou shalt rot in MP3 Hell… may the Britneys, the Aguileras and the Ricky Martins descend upon you every night. Your wet dreams for the rest of your life will have Celine Dion breast feeding you to the tune of “My heart will go on”…

Movie Reco

Don't know why I never put this up. A must watch movie "Breakfast on Pluto"
I truly think that Cillian Murphy is only gonna go up. A seriously good actor!

Passion Followers

Two friends in NYC are following their passions... more power to them
Chee Malabar http://www.myspace.com/obliquebrown
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/obliquebrown
Shreddie http://www.borawake.com/

Questions

I was posed some questions this weekend.

"Why are the planes flying so high?" -
Possible responses -
1. Because they couldn't find any tall buildings which they could whiz past and scare the inhabitants of.
2. I've lost the telephone no. of the pilot or could ask him to fly a bit low, maybe you're keen to hold on to the wing tip and do your trapeze act?
3. Do aircrafts in your part of the world fly low? Maybe they should have a technology upgrade because since I've known aircrafts they've atleast flown at 20000 feet above sea level
4. Probably because the passengers are too tired to keep waving out at the people on the ground by now.

"That hot air balloon (at a distance of 20 Kms from where we were), do you think it's privately owned or rented?"
Possible responses
1. Uhmm let me check ( squint my eye to try and see further into the distance) - it's privately owned as it has the sign of a Skull and 2 crossed bones below it.
2. Uhmm let me check (look at my watch) - it's 8 p.m., I am sure it's rented, you can only fly privately owned jets after this hour, not hot air balloons
3. Oh that one, actually that hot air balloon is stray, it has no owner and it likes it's nocturnal sojourns.

A snap shot of a host of questions thrown at me, and you thought my weekends were stress free? In any case, the actual responses that I managed were, "Uhmm, I don't know".

By the way these questions were not posed to me by a 4 yr old child but by "Full grown men" who lead a normal life and have normal jobs...

I would like to know your options for a good response to either of these questions. Leave me a note.. seriously. I love wittiness and I'd like to know that some people who read my blogs have some hidden wit. Come on all ye...

Sign off recommendation - C.R.A.Z.Y. - watch it with subtitles, if u don't understand French, actually it's Canadian French it does sound very different so the subtitles do help.

Song that gets me heady - I can see it now - Oasis. Highly instrumental, but I like the crescendo type tempo.

White out + Thom Yorke's dance video

Yo, I uploaded the Thom Yorke videos as promised have a look. I love the dance. I am actually practicing those steps at home. Ask my neighbours from across the street who see me dance cause my curtain rod broke and I am too short and lazy to fix it, and ask my neighbour from downstairs who hears the loud music and my feet banging on the floor.

I visited an eye doctor recently because I get this white out (opposite of a black out) in my left eye, when I am at work and I don't want it to get worse, the doc checked everything and said I was fine and i had perfect vision. So I enquired, "What do I do? because I still keep getting these white outs in my left eye!", Doc says,"It's yr left eye, right? I said ya right, so he says left or right? So I said left.. Ok, he says, try and tilt yr head a bit to the left and work more with yr right eye"

I am still to get over the shock of the treatment he has prescribed, all my friends have had a laugh, but I am still trying to come to terms with it.

I want a good name for this post. Suggestions?

Steady consumption

Just got off the phone with a friend and a genuine drinking partner after hearing a recounting of the previous nights escapades which I missed due to my illness mentioned in the previous blog.

There are places in the world, in a city that you inhabit where you go only to get drunk. I want to use a lot more words for drunk to try and communicate the concept -Sozzled, Shitfaced, smashed,fucked,influenced beyond degrees of conventional standards, bolloxed this list can go on and I want you all to give me the best word you'd like to use for drunk - any language will do!

Anyway, there are 3 places in the world that I adore,worship and hold close to my heart and would visit time and time again. A place where people connect because there is mutual respect as soon as you enter, with peoples thinking - "here comes a person who drinks for the joy, the love for the fluid, the integrity of the whole exercise"

A lot of people will connect with the legendary, the one and only Gokul's - Wikitravel says "Gokul behind the Taj is frequented by anyone who wants a inexpensive drink served quickly". But to us legions of fans, it is a place where you enter and you get a smile and a nod from the waiter (who had helped you throw up 2 months ago when the next morning you woke up and swore to give up drinking)and without a word your 2 dollar pitcher of beer with your favorite snacks is at your table - If you have had a legendary experience at this place that does not involve me, you are allowed to write about it.

Diamond beer bar - Those soft(no lights), the coldest chilliest beers on the busiest street of that city I thought I had gone to study in. Legend has it, they do serve the coldest beers you can ever find. To the trinity who spent many a weekends brooding over life,women known and unknown and future. I raise a large on to you!

Cabralliego - Don't let the website con you! It's an association of Spaniards, it is a club of sorts, I've never realized or bothered to find out what they do, but they run a resto/bar which serve 2 euro Rum(Bacardi), Vodka(Smirnoff), Whisky(JB) and 1 Euro Beers. Please see some pics. This is the kind of place you enter at 10 p.m. and find 10 families playing board games and ranting loudly. You sit down with a close group of friends and offer to buy a round and you come back with 7 Rums and 2 beers and you've not even spent 20 Euros! You sit and finish and before you finish another friend has volunteered for a round. At midnight you are well and truly buzzing and you try to reach for your cellphone to send a text message to 1 of yr ex girl friend or a current project and when you're done you look up, the 10 ranting families have suddenly disappeared and been replaced with 60 young beautiful spanish women, the restaurant/bar has turned into a night club with an MP3 DJ. Tables folded to make way for a dance floor, the bright flourescent lights turned off to let you go crazy, you do forget what text message you sent to whom in a matter of seconds. It's totally impossible to explain this phenomenon. The chosen few who have been there know about it. The rest of you who know me and have visited me and have not been taken there, I apologise. The rest who have been invited, time and time again to experience this and have not shown up - Shame on you.

Opps.. blog is getting too long.

If there is a bar in your town - where you go as religiously to kill yr slow moving brain cells as you would to your place of worship, leave me a note.

Health food to get you high

Why hasn't someone thought of alcohol laced herbal teas?
Why hasn't someone thought of hybriding tomatos, cucumbers and other veggies with marijuana plants?
Why can't space cakes be space lettuce?

Why am I saying all this? I've been sick recently, sorry wrong word - I have been ill recently, sick I have been since I entered my teens ;-). Anyway, coming back to the point. I have had a sore throat that turned into a head cold and now it is a full blown stuffed nose, headache and chest congestion. I know this is too much detail, but it is important and see, I am the one who wises to keep his blogs short so that they get read.

I usually don't take medicines for small illnesses and treat them through home remedies so the 1st couple of days I kept making myself lemon and honey teas, then ended the day with 2 glasses of rum and warm water and lime in it. As the days passed and the weekend arrived I felt the need to get more inventive, more intensive in my treatment. You have to realize my sense of smell and therefore my sense of taste had been reduced to nil. So the treatment I resorted to was, lemon and honey tea with ginger and 2 parts rum. I alternated this with 2 parts whisky the second time. Not only did this make me feel much better(warm) but it fuddled and fuzzed me up so nice that the blocked nose and headache together could not keep me away from my sleep.

Try this recipe next time you're ill as it helps to get high when you're ill. It takes the pain of the illness away easier and you also feel you're doing the healthy thing. All ideas above come with a disclaimer that they were thought up by a brain which was 2 parts full of that mucky shit that is still being blown out of my nose.

Ciao

Things to watch

When I started blogging, I used to end my blogs with some sort of a recommendation of movies to watch, artists to listen to etc. Some people told me I should keep at it.. so I thought this idle sat morning i'll put up some stuff that I have liked and think readers of this blog may like too. By the way I put up this cool "hit counter" on my blog to see how many people visit my blog and now I just go to my blog everyday and hit refresh a half dozen times and feel all cool when I surf back to my blog the next time - wow!! 120 people have visited my blog already!!

Anyhow.. I am sure i've mentioned Mitch Hedberg in one of my earlier blogs - may his soul rest in peace. One of the best comedians I've heard and seen on TV, tragic that he is dead, but his was the kind of dry, non racially laced, cleanhearted humor I love. I also like his monotonous way of talking. Pls see his quotes. His performances from Comedy Central can be found here 1 - 2 - 3. For his full repertoire surf to www.milkandcookies.com and search Mitch Hedberg.

The squid and the whale - A good movie that I enjoyed. I see that it has been listed as a top 10 movie recommendation from 2005 on a few movie publication sites.

Unfortunately, there haven't been many things that have grabbed me like - Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind and Garden State etc did way back a couple years ago. But I keep my hopes alive that someday soon there is going to be a movie or a movie soundtrack that is going to really grab me. By the way the soundtrack for Wicker Park is great.

I am sorry if I have already blogged on all this before, but this is my blog innit? I'll blog about it again if I like, and now that I got my own hit counter... heheheh

Still trying to keep the blogs short and trying to get more tech savvy with all the hyperlinks and blah blah blah.

Today I wanna be dancing like Thom Yorke - Watch Video and Video2. I was actually trying to make my own video from the show, but my personal laptop burnt down.

Everything in it's right place...

I saw Radiohead perform live...I was probably 15 when I actually went crazy about Radiohead, my dad then was really worried as I had scribbled the lyrics of "Creep" on our dining table, he sat me down next morning and asked me at breakfast if I had any issues in my life even though he felt I was very poetic. He was glad to know that it was just me trying to avoid the late night studying stress by listening to some music I liked and probably he was a bit crest fallen to learn that his son was not that poetically inclined...

In any case 13 years from that time... I saw Radiohead perform live..I have attempted a few times to write about the concert experience but I realize that my lack of ability to write down all the emotions I felt will never let me do justice to what I experienced. So I will not write anything.. I will though put a few links of well written reviews of their concert tour, those inclined can read, those not inclined should read and learn, those who don't know much about Radiohead, get a life!! Seriously.. these guys are probably the best bunch of rock musicians walking the planet and I believe they've still not gone commercial.......

What appeals to me about them? They write a lot of tragic songs, sad songs, morbid songs and when I listen to them, I get a giddy high, I chuckle inside my body and mind, I smile, I scream, it excites a weird sort of rage in me... their next album is going to rock your socks off... what else appeals to me about them? Not many people connect to them.. they are not for the masses and in my sick, perverted way I feel part of a group of people who can connect on a different plain... true blue Pink Floyd fans may connect to this sensation...

Recent review of their philly concert from a truly trusted music critic site.. will add more as I find..
Philly Concert

Peace out, working on keeping my blogs short...

Foulmouthed randomness

I was on a flight recently and the guy next to me had serious foul breath and I think he was letting out odor from some other orifice as well... today I had 5 beers, 6 cigarettes, a falafel with double garlic and boarded a flight

I visited a city which I lived in for close to a year after almost 3 years.. it felt brilliant, it felt great!!! when I sat on the plane to come back, my MP3 player played "Subterrenean homesick alien"

That is a song by radiohead, if you don't like their music... try it, give it another and another shot.. they are brilliant... I saw them live too, haven't blogged about it, but will and will set the record straight that it was the best concert I have been to.

I like my MP3 player a lot

I attended a meeting today, the meeting room said, Smokers welcome - I did not smoke throughout the 7 hr meeting because I am not a smoker. There was a box of cigarettes kept in the middle of the meeting table and as a going away token we all got a carton of our preferred brand... please somebody tell me of a similar experience.

I want to name this blog entry "Foul mouthed randomness" - but will do so if I get atleast 50% of my readers to comment in the affirmative and say "Yes" it sounds like a good name.. so that means I need 3 of you to validate.. come on guys!!!

Update on 04/06/06 - I got my 3 comments on the title and as promised I have changed the title. I also want to thank the 97 other people who wrote in directly to my email to tell me it was a good title. Also, would like to clear some misconception. The guy with the foul breath was with me on a different flight, a week before I did the falafel loaded flight! - End of Update

I've realized people don't read long blogs, i'll blog more soon.

It gives me great pleasure....

No!! Don't worry, I am not going to announce a big happening in my life.. but I am going to announce that probably i'll keep updating this post regularly as I wish to list things that bring me pleasure... AND!! don't worry I will keep it clean...

So.. to start things off, you will need to read the title, and that's how it will go everytime..basically read the title and then come down to read below

-> That I am a reasonably good cook
-> and I can cook up a highly satiating meal whenever required
-> that i can enjoy Pink Floyd on a sat night alone at home or even on a sunday morning with breakfast
-> that I would any day take a beer over a vodka
-> that I spend a better part of my income on live concerts than on the latest fashion
-> to know that i've not forgotten where I am coming from
-> to know that I can frustrate women as much as they frustrate me
TBC (To be continued.. but then this TBC line will drop down) - keep with it chaps..

morbid..maybe..scary..a bit..thought about it..never..

A good friend passed away last year. Another friend told me a story of how some of the new age spamming programs fucked with another friends head. Picture this - someone close to you died, a friend, colleague, family, months after they are gone you are at work and your mailbox goes ping you've got an email from them. Actually it's not them but it's just one of those weird spam programs which asks you to join their friend's network or contact list or whatever the hell it maybe. What would it do to you? would it make a chill go down your spine?would you be able to smile about it later?

I have my friend who passed away last year on my messenger list and he usually shows up in the first few names which are offline. Today I contemplated deleting his name... and when I hovered my mouse over his name - guess what it says, "Right click to see ways you can interact with this person".

2 & 2 & 2

It's been 2 years and 2 days.. i've survived it...i think i've enjoyed it... I still weigh the same and I still don't use an umbrella... and here's 2 fingers to whatever's in charge of the weather in this part of world....

The music's playing loud

I finally broke down, burnt that hole in the pocket and got myself an MP3 player. (NO!! this is not an advertising site, the good folks at xyz inc. would have to pay me good money before I peddle their brand on my blog)

I realized that music is an integral part of my life, I wake up to music, I have music playing in the background at all times. The only times I don't listen to music is when I really really need to concentrate - which is about... uhmm never??!!??

The problem now is that I have these earplugs sticking to my sides and I keep getting tangled in wires running out of my jacket or trouser pockets. I am so not an accessories person, I am the kind of guy who would drop his sunglasses off his nose or choke on a scarf. Now imagine the mess I am in when I am trying to look all cool with this new marvel of science in my pocket and grooving to some cool tunes and I get a phone call or see a pretty girl or just a friend, so I try to wave out or reach out into my pocket to answer the phone, probably holding my sports kit or my work bag in one hand, winter clothes already hampering my movement. Seriously!!! not a pretty sight I tell you, not at all. Aren't accessories supposed to help you feel and look better, not that I use my latest acquisition as an accesory, it is a tool to help me satiate my voracious hunger for music, but yet don't they try to sell the cool aspect of this machine too? Why, why why can't I pass it off with the coolness they advertise it with???

But then, wasn't I the guy who used to harp about the fact "Uncool is Cool!!!"

Here's to the uncoolness as long as the music stays loud...
3 Uncool songs that I have rediscovered since the new acquisition from a band that has typified "Uncool is Cool" for me ever since the day I first heard "Creep"

Radiohead - Subterranean Homesick Alien
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/radiohead/subterraneanhomesickalien.html
Radiohead - Planet Telex
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/radiohead/planettelex.html
Radiohead - How can you be sure? http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/radiohead/howcanyoubesure.html

Can somebody pls teach me how to hyperlink - websites to normal text on a blog?? This bloody thing is just not f**king user friendly

Moving Movies

Movies that I've watched in '06 . Lord of War, The Constant Gardener and Good Night & Good Luck. Strongly believe David Strathairn from GNGL may and should win an Oscar for his performance. If he does anyone who reads this before the awards are announced in March, should pay me 5 $ for my prediction skills.....

Cricket Speak...

A few good hilarious remarks made towards the fag end of '05 and early '06

The first of course goes to an Indian - the Media manager or whatever they call him.. Capt. whatever.
"Greg Chappel had an injury to his finger while giving fielding practice to the team, the finger needed some fresh air" - Comment on Greg Chappel's "(in)famous" finger wagging at the Kolkata crowd

Second, to our sub continental brethren - "Sanath had a fall in his shower while trying to reach for his Shampoo and has dislocated his shoulder" - Ok, anything.. I mean really anything could have worked.. but what Shampoo does the bald Jayasuriya use?

Third, and one of my personal favorites, where Kiran More waxed eloquent on Dada's exemplary bowling skills and attributed that as a reason for his inclusion in the squad. Does anyone remember how many overs he bowled???